WOW.

That is truly the only word that came to mind watching Tiger’s win at Augusta.  It was an impressive performance, even if it didn’t require him to shoot a lights-out round as he watched his nearest competitors dump ball after ball into Rae’s Creek on #12.   We will leave out the editorial comments on their shot selections aimed at the far right of the bunker, instead of playing for the middle of that green with the tournament on the line—shocking mistakes for players that have been around long enough to know better.

As the accolades for Tiger poured in over the last few days (all well-deserved), it got me thinking about how unlikely it was.  Not Tiger’s performance, but the fact that so many people wanted to see him do well.  As a society, we often hear about the desire to see someone comeback from a past mistake. 

But the sidelines are littered with athletes, entertainers, coaches, media members and others whose mistake was one simple act or misstatement.  Most of them do not receive the same type of support.

We see millions of Americans who have been through the criminal justice system. Virtually none of them are given much support in their second chance efforts.

Why is that?  What distinguishes the cases in which a person is crucified for life for one small mistake, and another is seemingly easily forgiven for his transgressions? 

Addiction cannot be the answer because many of the individuals who are ex-communicated from college and pro sports teams were arguably facing the same types of addiction issues.

I do not claim to have the answers to this question, but I do find it fascinating.  I wonder how much more we could accomplish as a society if employers, schools, spouses, sports leagues and media companies would grant this same level of forgiveness and support to those in their midst who needed it.

So each time you hear someone cheering on Tiger, take a minute to think through your own life and see who could use that support from you!!

Each week I take a quick look at some of the stories and news that I found most interesting.  This space will include some sports, but not all of the sports stories that I normally follow in the areas of sports philanthropy, sports law, sports business, Jewish sports, concussions and otherwise.  If you want to see more of what I am following in those areas, let me know and I can point you to the best spots on my blogs and websites.  You will see that I love to find some of life’s little absurdities and point those out as well as other interesting stories that I follow.

GRAPHICS OF THE WEEK

WEEK ENDING APRIL 14, 2019

• Tiger’s win at Augusta. Obviously one of the biggest stories this weekend. An impressive feat. I have never been a Tiger fan, but it was an incredible win and a comeback for the ages. Despite my feelings about Tiger, you can read here about how I do give him credit for two very impressive accomplishments. My other question about Tiger, or more his audience, is whether they would give others the same second chances Tiger has received. I routinely see sports related people fired, shunned and shamed for far less than cheating with 100+ women. Seeing all of the joy and redemption stories made me wonder about this double standard. It was fun to see a strong leaderboard the last couple days.

• Concussion research advance.   One big story this week was the study released by Boston University which seems to bring us closer to being able to diagnose CTE in living people. While the diagnosis alone will not get us where we need to be, it will allow a much more rapid progression in the identification of the disease and give us some ability to work on treatments.

• Daylight Time vs. Standard Time.             So if you are in Chicago, in April, does an invitation for 7 p.m. CST mean 7 p.m. CDT? Or is the person sending a stealth invitation for 7 p.m. MDT?  I am not sure why this concept is so difficult.  But there are a large number of people (and media) that incorrectly publish times for an event in Standard Time when we are in Daylight Time.  Part of me always wants to email back to them to ask whether 7 p.m. CST really meant that, or whether they meant 7 p.m. Central Daylight Time.  I am sure they are only confused because we spend many more months on Daylight Time than we do on Standard Time

• Night for Victory.                             The Northwestern Gridiron Network held a beautiful event at the Godfrey Hotel on Saturday night.  Fantastic venue on the rooftop lounge.  Impressive turnout to raise money that they were targeting for customized helmets, allegedly to reduce concussions.  While better equipment can help, I am always wary of players feeling unduly” safe in particular equipment.  The rooftop setting itself was beautiful and the Purple Arch Venture hosts did an impressive job with the decorations.  Take a look at these photos.

• Alley-Oop to Alliyah. My friend David Goldstein from Toronto was in Chicago for a couple of Lunch and Learns” where he spoke about his book Alley-Oop to Alliyah. It is an impressive piece of work about the trail of African-American basketball players that have moved on to play professional basketball in Israel, and how their presence in Israel has made an impact on their lives as well as on the lives of the Israeli’s around them. Many of them have chosen to remain in Israel after their playing careers because they felt that they were treated better in Israel than in most other places that they have lived. If you would like to have David visit your community, let me know and I can put you in contact with him. I think you will enjoy the presentation and I know that I am looking forward to reading the book.

• Diverticulitis.    Typically spending a whole day in the urgent care clinic and the ER are not fun.  And this past Tuesday was spent in that fashion.  But instead of being aggravated with the slow” service, I was thankful for how quickly things were handled, how fortunate I was to be able to receive that type of medical care and how ultimately they only found something that was a short term issue.   Diverticulitis is much better than a burst appendix or dozens of other options that it could have been.  The biggest problem was not the pain, but the effect of two heavy anti-biotics that knocked me out for much of the week.  I rarely take any type of meds for pain so I was surprised to feel so sluggish and lethargic.  I dragged myself out to a few meetings, but really didn’t start feeling better until Sunday.

• NCAA Men’s Championship Game.         I was happy to see Virginia win the National Championship because I am a fan of Tony Bennett.  A tremendous turnaround from last season when Virginia became the first #1 seed to lose to a #16 seed.   I like Bennett’s leadership style and have followed him since his playing days at UWGB.  Virginia had two of the most improbable wins that I have ever seen in their Elite 8 win against Purdue and semifinal win against Auburn.   When Purdue poked that ball into the backcourt and less than 5 seconds remained, the odds of Virginia pulling that out had to be under 5%.  With 10 seconds left in the Auburn game, the odds might have been even lower.

• Illinois Boxing Hall of Fame.       I have never been to this dinner event before, but with my friend Al Bernstein being inducted, it was fantastic to see over 600 people in the crowd to honor him.   The energy in the room was impressive and this was one of the best limos that I have ever seen.

• JNF Lawyers Breakfast. Held the day after the Israeli election, this breakfast took a bit of a detour to examine the results of the election and challenges that will be faced in putting together a new government.  Israel always has political challenges but this particular election may hold the fate of some of the biggest decision’s in the country’s history.

• Traction.              I was invited to an interesting lunch presentation by a company called Insperity.  The presentation focused on a book called Traction and the system for helping a business analyze how to prepare themselves for growth.   The presentation took us through a process called EOS (Entrepreneur Operating System) but the presentation itself was probably better suited to a small group for a working session than for a lunch presentation.  But the substance of the presentation had some terrific content and if you are interested in hearing more about it I can connect you to my host.

For any of you that have spent time in Israel, you know that sports are a big part of the culture.  One of the enduring themes has been Maccabi Tel Aviv competing in European Championship games using African-American players who were not able to get (or stay) in the NBA.

My friend David Goldstein from Toronto, wrote a book entitled Alley Oop to Aliyah: African American Hoopsters in the Holy Land.”  David is a long-time colleague from the Sports Lawyers Association and he spent many years researching and writing the book.

Listening to his presentation was extremely interesting, because he came at it not from the basketball perspective but from the cultural phenomenon that it represents.  David explained how his early interest in the story was driven by the passion his grandmother’s friends exhibited when talking about a Toronto Raptors player who had spent some time in Israel.  Their excitement when they heard David was from Toronto went beyond any reasonable relationship or rooting interesting in the local team.

According to David, over 800 players have made their way to Israel since the first known player Alcie Perry, who was a stalwart in Maccabi Tel Aviv’s 1977 European Championship, perhaps one of the most important sporting events in Israeli sports history.  As a side note, I was in 7^th grade and happened to be living in Israel at the time, and I can confirm the enormity of the event and the feverish passion that was exhibited around the country.

David shared stories about some of the favorite characters he interviewed for the book.  These stories included players that:

• Joined the Israeli army voluntarily. 
• Married Israeli women.
• Converted to Judaism.
• Raised children in Israel.
• Became Israeli citizens.
• Found less racism in Israel.
• Became spokespeople for Israel.
• Experienced anti-semitism by playing for an Israeli team.
• Celebrated Championships with an Israeli flag (instead of the team logo or flag).

The two events in Chicago were well attended and there was a lot of interest in his presentation.  I encourage you to bring David to your community for an event.  I think you will find him very engaging, empathetic and well-spoken, creating a lot of warmth and a positive experience for your organization.

For more information about David or Alley-Oop to Aliyah”, please email me at rkessel@sportsloop.com and I am happy to make the introduction.

As we see Tiger Woods lurking near the top of the leaderboard after the first day of the 2019 Masters, we hear a lot of people in the golf world (and beyond), talking about what a Tiger victory would mean to the golf world.  There can be no doubt about his drawing power and the TV ratings that he drives for any golf tournament in which he participates.  The energy and passion around the events go up tenfold when he competes.

Still, I have always argued that Tiger’s two biggest accomplishments have come outside of competition.

DRESS CODE

For almost the last 100 years, a collared shirt has been a mandate at virtually every golf club in the United States (and most other countries).  Try walking onto a private country club in a tank-top, t-shirt or anything other than a standard polo, and you will be rapidly escorted either back to your vehicle (to leave) or directly to the pro-shop (to purchase a new shirt).

Tiger changed that.  Almost single-handedly. I saw almost because we know that Nike had an enormous influence in that marketing play, but even Nike would not have had the power to institute that change, but for Tiger’s power.

The fact that Tiger could show up wearing a mock-turtleneck shirt at one golf tournament and that the entire golf industry would be flipped upside-down is a testament to that power. 

I doubt that you can think of any athlete who created such a large change.  Even Michael Jordan’s famed Air Jordan brand did not have that same influence.  High-tops were a strong fashion before and while he took them to an entirely new level, it was still essentially just a redesign of an existing product.

On the chart of golf fashion, this was a true seismic change.

AFFAIRS

Tiger’s other accomplishment” is equally astounding, though less exemplary.  While he was roaming the globe with all of his golf success, Tiger was apparently sneaking around behind his wife’s back.  This is hardly noteworthy, since it occurs on a daily basis. 

What makes his story different is not that he had a beautiful wife and young children.

The remarkable element of his story is that Tiger was able to keep over 100 women quiet.  His cheating remained hidden from social media, from leaks from his agency, leaks from his friends and leaks from the women he was keeping time with.

In a world where any action, inaction or mis-deed goes viral within seconds, it is truly hard to fathom how Tiger was able to keep a lid on this story for so long.  Having the ability to keep that many women happy (or at minimum, not angry”) is a huge accomplishment.

For better or for worse.

It should be an interesting weekend at Augusta.  But in my view, even a Tiger win will no eclipse either of these accomplishments.

Each week I am planning to look at some of the stories and news that I found most interesting.  This space will include some sports, but not all of the sports stories that I normally follow in the areas of sports philanthropy, sports law, sports business, Jewish sports, concussions and otherwise.  If you want to see more of what I am following in those areas, let me know and I can point you to the best spots on my blog or various websites.  You will see that I love to find some of life’s little absurdities and point those out as well as other interesting stories that I follow.

MOTIVATIONAL IMAGES OF WEEK:

OTHER TOP IMAGES OF THE WEEK:

ROY’S RAMBLE:

• Buffalo Wild Wings.  I went to watch the Michigan State-Texas Tech game at Buffalo Wild Wings.  One of the few places now that has the sound on for the games.  Apparently BWW created new menus that the waiter said are supposed to remind you of a coaches clipboard.  Horrible idea. Very awkward and clumsy.   D-minus to the marketing staff.  Waiter said everyone hates them.

• Golf.      A friend treated me to the first round of golf we have played together in a few years. Beautiful day on Saturday and nice to be out there. We used to get in about 25 rounds a year together, but family and work seemed to get in the way the last couple of decades.  I always find some good things to laugh at on the golf course.  This day’s prime item was the way many golfers overestimate how far they can hit the ball.  We had a twosome in front of us that was waiting to hit until the group ahead of them was 300+ yards away.  I am not sure we saw either of them hit any ball 200 yards in the air. Most of them were dribblers or shanks.  On two par fives, they waited for the group to clear the green when they were at their tee shots—about 200 yards off the tee.  Still it is always great being out on the course even with clueless golfers.  I managed to scrape out a few pars and even knocked in a birdie. 

• Neuroplasticity training.              .               Last weekend I got certified in neuroplasticity training and will have more details and information for you about that service soon.  This will be a great benefit to so many organizations and so many individuals that could use the help getting their brain to function more efficiently.

• Cancelled meetings.      Many of us have busy schedules. We all recognize meetings get cancelled, rescheduled or arrivals may be delayed.  But it amazes me when someone fails to let you know that they won’t make a meeting until you email to confirm, EVEN WHEN THEY ARE OUT OF TOWN.   TWICE.  Hey, newsflash.  If you are out of town an hour before our meeting, you knew you were not going to make it that day.

• JT Foxx.  Until about a year ago, I had never heard of JT Foxx.  I attended one of his free events in Chicago last summer. He bills himself as The World’s #1 Wealth Coach.”  Though he comes across as cocky and though he can be hard on some of the attendees that he brings up for coaching, there can be no doubt about his work ethic.  He presents all around the world and opens up many of his events for free.  Having now attended my 4^th event of his, there can also be no doubt that he has some tremendous ideas and helps many people improve their lives.  He does it in a very different way to Tony Robbins, but the impact is very real.  You can read more details here.

• Fundraisers Forum.         Led by Rae Ringel, this was an outstanding event.  You read more details about it here, but if you work with non-profits or try to raise money, her presentations are fantastic and worth of a more detailed look.

• Vendor response. I am planning the Sports Philanthropy World Congress in August. As I was looking for venues for the event, I sent out emails inquiring about availability. It continues to amaze me how unresponsive many companies are, even when you are trying to give them business. One venue that was pitching me for business took over 10 days to provide any of the requested information via email (and even then, came back with only about half of what was requested). #VendorFail

• Final Four.           I hate seeing games decided by controversial endings.  The end of the Virginia/Auburn game was tremendous drama but the missed call on the double dribble will be questioned for a long time.  However, what about the missed grab before that?  Would that have cancelled the other missed call out?  The final call on the 3-point shot was the correct call and was explained very well by Gene Steratore.  He is one of the most articulate referees that we have seen on TV and continually provides great insight. This year’s tournament seems to have the largest collection of tight games that I have seen in many, many years.  It will be tough to top Virginia’s two improbably victories.

• Health Club Redux. You may have read my prior post about the 12 Most Absurd Things You See at the Health Club.” I may have to start a volume two. Today one elderly member kicked two teenagers out of the hot tub because they were not technically old enough, even though they were probably only a few months short of the age requirement. Mind you, plenty of space there. They were sitting quietly and talking.

JT Foxx held his MegaBranding event in Chicago on April 3, 2019.  Until about a year ago, I had never heard of JT Foxx.  I attended one of his free events in Chicago last summer and got thrown into a whole new world. JT bills himself as The World’s #1 Wealth Coach.”  Though he comes across as cocky and harsh, he has proven very successful and continues to create new businesses with his tireless energy. 

I attended a 2^nd event in Chicago last fall and then attended the week long MegaSuccess program in Anaheim in November 2018.  That event really opened my eyes as to JT’s power.  Some of it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, but he sets his vision and does everything that is needed to make that a reality.

Though he can be harsh on some of the attendees that he coaches in front of the group, there can be no doubt about his desire to help people improve.   His work schedule is daunting, and you only have to look at his travel schedule to be impressed by how he is able to maintain that energy throughout.  

JT presents all around the world and hosts many of his events and training without charge.  Obviously, he sells some of his coaching services and online programs, but the value that he delivers is significant. 

Today’s session focused on branding.  JT is a huge proponent of celebrity branding and the power that you get by having photographs taken with celebrities.  This type of branding by association is something that many large corporations use to help brand their own products.

Another of JT’s ongoing mantras is the importance of coaching.  JT personally has 8 coaches and draws different value from each of them.  He talks about the importance of overcoming fear and that it typically takes each person five times of doing one task before they overcome that fear.

JT walked us through many of the elements which are important in the branding process.  Some of these learning nuggets included the types of branding

• Personal Branding
• Company Branding
• Results Branding
• Mission Branding
• Legacy Branding
• Exclusivity Branding
• Bonus based Branding

The other set of items that was particularly interesting was the way that JT spoke about the steps that are needed to establish stronger credibility:

• Speaking
• Media
• Testimonials
• Branding by Association

JT typically has Brent Turley open up his presentations and Brent does a terrific job setting the tone and telling the stories of his tennis playing children and their athletic scholarships.  Brent tells the stories of capitalizing on chances for his kids to hit with Jose Higeras, Roger Federer’s coach, and with Chris Evert.  But embedded in these tales are the concepts of perseverance, taking risks, moving quickly and taking advantage of opportunities that present themselves.

JT put together a 30-day program to help people accelerate their branding strategies.  The point of the program is to go through one element each day, for 30 days. And then repeat it two more times for a total of 90 days.  Reinforcing the strategies in this way will allow you to truly embed the strategies in your daily consciousness.

At the end of the day, JT gave some very helpful insight about how you can gain additional credibility by writing a book.   JT’s process guides you through the steps in creating an E-book that can reach high levels on Amazon.  Certainly, having a bestseller” would add to your credibility and enhance your personal branding.

Having now attended my 4^th event of JT Foxx, there can also be no doubt that he has some tremendous ideas and helps many people improve their lives.  He does it in a very different way to Tony Robbins, but the impact is very real. 

One of the key elements to running a successful non-profit is the ability to raise funds.  But how do you do that in today’s competitive environment of fundraising?  Every donor is being reached multiple times per month seeking to get funds from them to support a myriad of worthy causes.

In speaking to many non-profits, we hear about these struggles, but we also hear some creative solutions and some interesting strategies.  So when we had the opportunity to participate in the Fundraisers Forum at the Spertus Museum in Chicago we jumped at the opportunity.

This third installment in the Fundraiser Forum series was led by Rae Ringel.  Rae has been a long-time trainer focusing on the best way to communicate with your organization’s donor base.   Rae provided some outstanding insight into how and why donors give.  While we cannot share her entire presentation with you, we would like to share some of the insights she gave us.

Rae took us through the process of how we ask for money, and why we tend to associate so many negative terms with fundraising, especially when we are doing great work to support terrific causes.

Among the many interesting facts she shared was the rapidly declining attention span in today’s world.  She pointed to the fact that 10 years ago, the average adult had an attention span of 12 minutes.  Now, that attention span has dwindled all the way down to 3 minutes.  So before you schedule a keynote speaker for a 30 minute time slot, beware!!

Each non-profit worker essentially serves three distinct roles:  1) Relationship builders/connectors; 2) Storytellers; and 3) Fundraisers.  She stressed that for every person, fundraising is a required part of the job description. 

As she transitioned into the substance of fundraising, she spoke about the importance of body language and posture and examined the reasons why we feel so uncomfortable asking people for money.  When Rae asked for the feelings associated with solicitation the responses consisted of:

• Anxiety
• Pressure
• Formal
• Transactional
• Phone
• Chutzpah
• Manipulation

Yet, when she asked for how the people felt about the cause they were raising money for, the results included:

• Pride
• Family
• Warmth
• Ethics
• Values
• Commitment

She helped the group transition the way they think and to consider themselves solicitors with the following traits:

• Relationship builder
• Enabler
• Advocate
• Educator
• Mission
• Connector
• Engagement
• Matchmaker
• Illuminary

Rae challenged us to take a new mindset around fundraising that consisted of: Leading, Empowering and Educating.  She recommended keeping these concepts in our minds as we went into a personal solicitation:

• I look forward to hearing what he/she cares about
• I am fortunate to have the opportunity to have this conversation with them
• I have the chance to make someone’s day
• I want to make them part of this success
• I can give other the opportunity to feel like they are a blessing to others

Before you get to the actual solicitation though, Rae emphasized that you have to know three things:  1) Yourself; 2) Your donor; and 3) Your product.

She recommended meeting in a donor’s space because you can learn so much about them from their home, office or other location in which they choose to host you.

Rae stressed the need to understand how credibility is established in relationships. She cited statistics that show that the factors which determine the credibility of another person are:

• 38% by voice tone and tempo
• 55% by body language
• 93% of building trust and credibility is communicated through the body and not through the words

Another interesting element of her presentation was the importance of asking open-ended questions like: What do you care about?” or What drives your giving?” or What’s Your Thing?”

She gave examples of how questions starting with Why” can sound more judgmental, as opposed to something along the lines of What compelled you to meet with me.”

Rae gave examples of how behind every complaint is an unarticulated request”.  This makes it even more important for the solicitor to ask the donor questions like What do you want?” or What do you need.”

She stressed that the most admired and respected leaders use conversations to enlist support and to get the people around them involved in creating a fundamentally new future.

She closed with the four elements of making a proper request:

1. What?saying exactly what you want
2. By When?Saying exactly when you want it
3. From Whom?Saying exactly from whom you want it
4. Conditions of Satisfaction?Saying exactly how you want it, stating your conditions of satisfaction.

Ultimately, the most important part of fundraising is to leave people in a good frame of mind.  Rae quoted Maya Angelou’s famous line I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

As you look around your fundraising strategies, we recommend having Rae present to your board or your stakeholders.  Her engaging presentations will provide them with great insight.  For more information about Rae, visit her website at www.ringelgroup.com

Many of you who know me well have had the opportunity to meet my sister, Sharon.  She recently celebrated her 50^th Birthday, and I was given the privilege of making a speech to honor her.  I decided that the best way I could pay tribute to her was to talk about the many life lessons that she has taught me.

My parents put together a fantastic event that was held on March 3, 2019 at Union South.  The facility was a great setting and there was plenty of space for the large crowd.  Throughout her life, Sharon has touched so many people and interacted with so many members of the Madison community.  She has been mainstreamed from an early age and was one of the first children to be integrated into a regular high school, participate in Camp Shalom as a camper, attend Beth Israel Hebrew School as a student and serve as a counselor at Camp Shalom. 

Her positive disposition is infectious and her glowing attitude bring warmth and energy to everyone around her.  As I said in my speech, she has probably taught me more than anyone else in my life.

And as I looked around the room throughout the day, it was apparent that Sharon has taught many of our friends these same lessons. 

Sharon had such a terrific time at the party.  She had a huge smile all day (and the whole week leading up to the party).  You could hear her laughing across the room and see her teasing various people throughout the afternoon.  She welcomed people for so many parts of her life:  Very Special Arts, Job Coaches, YMCA, Shorewood Hills, Beth Israel, Camp Shalom, Memorial High School and many family friends.  The morning after the party, Sharon woke up and told my parents what a great time she had.

I did my best to capture Sharon’s essence in the brief time I had to speak and it was rewarding to have so many people ask for copies of the speech and/or the video.  Sharon is a very special person and has a unique disposition.  The 25 Lessons that I spoke about are really only the tip of the iceberg.  Sharon has taught our whole family so much about kindness, graciousness and perseverance.  There is truly no way to capture all of her remarkable spirit in just a few minutes.

If you would like to read the 25 Life Lessons I Learned from Sharon, please click below and you will get the full text of the speech that I wrote. In the videos, you can also see Sharon’s love, excitement and her infectious smile.  I hope that you will take a few minutes to watch. I think you will learn something yourself.

Text of Roy Kessel Speech, 25 Life Lessons I Learned from Sharon

VIDEOS FROM SHARON’S PARTY

• Merle and Jerry Sternberg presenting portrait to Sharon
• Les Mirkin Speech, Parts 1 and 2
• Raymond Kessel Speech
• Everyone singing Happy Birthday to Sharon
• Sharon’s speech thanking people and telling everyone to each cake

If you did not get the opportunity to join our family for this special occasion, I hope that you enjoy these photos and that you take the time to watch the videos of the speeches and presentations.

And here are some special videos made by our relatives in Israel:

• Dudley Kessel Family singing Happy Birthday to Sharon
• Colin Kessel Family sings Happy Birthday to Sharon

PHOTOS FROM SHARON’S PARTY

SHARON KESSEL 50TH BIRTHDAY PHOTO PAGE

It is great to see all of you here today.  You have all been a part of watching Sharon grow up.  You have seen her in many aspects of her life.  Sharon wanted me to give a speech here and I thought that the best way that I could pay tribute to her, would be to share with you the lessons that I have learned from Sharon during my lifetime.  I have probably learned more from Sharon, than from anyone else in my life.

So without further ado, here are the Top 25 Lessons I have learned from Sharon:

1. Love your parents
   • Sharon’s love for our parents has been constant.  She doesn’t like it if they fight or argue, but she plays mediator.  And more often than not, they agree that she was right.  She adores her Dad and wants him in many situations. But when she is really sad or hurt, then she turns to her Mom.  She has learned so much from each of them and she has taught them many of these same lessons that I am about to share with you.
2. Smile
   • Sharon has an infectious smile.  Smiling helps all of us feel better, and Sharon does it often. Her smile makes everyone feel welcome.
3. Laugh
   • Her laugh is contagious.  Sharon has a great sense of humor and her laughter warms the room.
4. Remember people
   • Sharon has an amazing memory.  She has worked and interacted with so many people in the community.  If she has met you once or twice, she will probably remember you.  If she has shared a meal with you, she will NEVER forget you.   Her uncle Jerrold used call her Google.
5. Keep your sense of humor
   • Sharon has a terrific sense of humor. Though her disability may impact some areas of her life, she has an incredible ability to know when people are joking.  She can laugh at herself, her brother, her Dad, her Mom and everyone around her.  She enjoys being teased, and she likes to tease back.
6. Enjoy life
   • Many of us rush through life and don’t take the time to observe the small things.  Sharon frequently notices and expresses her appreciation for them.  A pretty flower, a nice painting or an animal walking by.
7. Try your best
   • Sharon has had plenty of struggles in her life.  But she keeps trying. She does her best. 
8. Accept differences
   • Sharon doesn’t see disability, race, religion, gender or sexual orientation. She sees kindness. She notices how people treat her and how they treat others.
9. Have your own TV
   • In today’s world that probably means having your own phone.  But throughout her life, TV was a very important way for Sharon to entertain herself.  She has an uncanny ability to know exactly what shows are on.  Despite her difficulty with fine motor skills, Sharon could dial thru the old cable boxes and tune in to exactly which show she wanted.  I Love Lucy, Golden Girls and Andy Griffith were among the favorites.   She also learned so much about items at the supermarket?  From the TV commercials, she could name most of the brands in the store and virtually any restaurant you drove by.  Just don’t ask her to let you put on football, golf or any other sport J
10. Pay attention to what’s around you
    • Sharon is very observant.  She notices the little things.  Sometimes, even if you don’t want her to.
11. Participation is more important than winning
    • Sharon loved participating in the Special Olympics.  She ran the 50 yard dash and participated in the softball throw.  But she loved participating in all kinds of activities. She would play baseball with us outside and loved to pitch the ball. She played cricket with her cousins in Israel. She played ball with the dogs.  She thrived on the enjoyment of participation.
12. Say you’re sorry
    • Few of us properly apologize.  We all make mistakes. We all get upset. Sometimes we are right. Sometimes we are wrong.  But Sharon has a great sense of her own behavior and will come up to us later and apologize, sometimes even when she was justified in being upset in the first place. 
13. Sleep whenever you are tired
    • Most of us get cranky when we are tired.  But we don’t go take the nap we might need.  Sharon has no qualms about getting a bit of rest when she needs it.  And you see her wake up refreshed and usually she is perfectly happy to just pop up and get right back to whatever activities are planned next.
14. Demand your private time
    • Sharon is very comfortable going off on her own.  She goes to watch TV to take a break or when she just needs a bit of space for herself.
15. Know yourself
    • So many of us are reluctant to ask for what we need.  She knows herself well.  If she is upset or anxious or stressed, just will often say Me go calm down for 2 minutes”.  Sometimes it is 1 minute, sometimes it is 5.  But she knows herself. And that strategy would probably serve most of us well.
16. Perseverance
    • In his famous speech that launched the ESPY awards, Jim Valvano said Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.”   Sharon exemplifies this trait.  She has faced so many obstacles.  But she always kept trying.  My parents were told that she would never walk, she would never talk and she would never be toilet trained.  She did all of those before she was 5 years old.  She keeps trying things that are difficult. She likes to feel the satisfaction of accomplishment.
17. Enjoy your food, often
    • If you have ever been with Sharon, you know she enjoys her food.  All types.  Gourmet dishes to fast food.  Pizza to chicken to brisket.  And like me, especially dessert!!
18. Enjoy nature
    • Sharon loves spending time outside. One of her great pleasures is taking a walk around the school grounds.  Unless it is really cold, she will go out a few times each day and take a lap around the school.  She watches the kids play, she enjoys the fresh air and in her own way, that counts as her exercise.
19. Color outside the lines
    • You don’t have to follow the normal expectations.  DO what makes you happy. Color outside of the lines. Sharon has always been willing to be different and to express her desires to be different.
20. Be nice to everyone
    • Sharon is never malicious.  She is always nice to everyone by default.  She cheers people up, she engages them and she thanks them.  And her demeanor makes people feel good. If we all behaved this way, the world would be a better and happier place.
21. Play
    • So many scientific studies now have found how crucial play is in our development and in our happiness.  It brings joy, stress relief, lowers blood pressure, and relieves anxiety.  Most of us don’t play enough after our childhood years.  Sharon does it every day. Whether it is playing Uno by herself, playing with the dogs and being mean to her brother by making me DRAW FOUR in Uno, Sharon loves to play games.
22. Be generous
    • Generosity can be defined so many ways.  Sharon’s generous spirits covers so many different components of generosity it is hard to define here.
23. Consider others
    • When Chantal and I were buying our house in Buffalo Grove and contemplating whether or not we could afford the place, we were sitting at a Baskin Robbins. Sharon stopped eating her ice cream, got a worried look on her face and started digging in her purse.  We didn’t know what she was doing.  She pulled out the change she had from her job and a couple crumpled up dollar bills.  She proudly said I have money, me help you buy house.”
24. Sing Out Loud
    • Sharon is not shy about singing in person.  Most of us only open up our voices in the shower because we are ashamed or don’t think we sound good enough.  Sharon is happy to sing anywhere because singing makes HER happy.  She has enjoyed signing in her Very Special Arts Choir. They sing at Hilldale.  They sing at Badger games.  They sing at the Overture Center.  And the billboard you see on the side over there, clearly illustrates so many of these traits that you are hearing about.
25. Treasure your birthday
    • We all have a birthDAY.   Sharon has a birth-MONTH.  February.  She celebrates all month long and loves the attention that she receives.  Fortunately for her, with her birthday on the 27^th, she gets almost the full month of celebration.  And she is so HAPPY that you are ALL here to celebrate with her

So as we celebrate today, I encourage each of you to take these lessons to heart, and try to implement one or two of them in your life in Sharon’s honor.  I am willing to bet you will be thankful to her for these lessons.

Here is the video from the last few minutes of my speech

Here are two links for more details about Sharon’s party:

• Article about the party and more videos
• Page of photos from the party

Held the night before the official NFLPA’s annual required training, Inside the League sponsored its annual gathering of agents at the NFL Combine.  The meeting was led by long time agent Peter Schaffer who set a strong leadership tone for the conversation.  The agent community has long been splintered into factions, and the divides typically look like this:

1. Large agencies;
2. Successful smaller agencies;
3. The solo guys;
4. The dabblers;
5. New agents.

The challenge has been to bring these groups together, because while they compete against each other, the only way to protect the value of the agent and to fight against the NFLPA’s attempts to reduce compensation and restrict activities, is for the agents to work together. The larger agencies usually do not want to be involved with the efforts to reform the system, since they are the ones that usually have the resources to spend the money on recruiting and servicing clients that the other groups cannot afford.  So efforts to restrict any of those tactics run counter to their professional objectives.

Schaffer sought a unifying environment as he led the conversation into the following areas:

• Inducements
• Transparency
• Payments to players over 52 weeks
• Strike preparation
• Agent Association
• New leagues

INDUCEMENTS—One of the biggest issues for anyone trying to break into the agent business is how to compete with the large inducements given to players coming out of college.  One of my ongoing criticisms of the NFLPA has been its fictional attempts to enforce its regulations.  Though it purports to ban inducements” the NFLPA has repeatedly refused to consider marketing advances, training payments, living expenses and many other items paid by the agent as inducements.  The NFLPA says that anything paid after the player signs is not an inducement, essentially meaning that an agent can show you what he paid for other players last year, and that does not constitute an inducement.  In any other body of law, that would clearly be held as an inducement.  Schaffer quoted research which showed him that the average agent netted less than $5500 per client, a number that is far lower than most new prospective agents expect when they enter the business.  Under this business model, he said that nobody is making money.” This number is likely skewed up based on the successful agencies, meaning that for most new agents, this is not a viable business, a viewpoint reiterated by many solo agents and those trying to break into the business.  The $15,000 training bills along with six figure marketing guarantees are significant barrier to entry for most agents.

TRANSPARENCY—One frustration for agents (and many others) has been the lack of transparency in this process.  The addendum’s that agents ask players to sign have never been released and so there is no way to tell if the agent (or player) is being truthful in their characterization of the relationship.  Without transparency, many players (and their families) are not comparing apples to apples in the selection of their agent.  Schaffer would like to see the addendum’s standardized and allow the agents access to a database that shows what the players are being offered and promised.

PAYMENTS TO PLAYERS OVER 52 WEEKS—An ongoing challenge for NFL players (and athletes in many other sports) is their ability to manage their finances.  The NFL pays the players on a 17 week schedule.  This means that they have seemingly huge amounts of money in every paycheck.  This distorts the reality that the money they are paid needs to last an entire year.  While the amount that they are paid is enormous in any normal context, the players are typically inexperienced in managing money and fail to take into account some critical elements: 1) They need to pay taxes; 2) They need to make the money last an entire year; and 3) They are likely to have VERY short careers.  Some agents believe that spreading the payments of 52 weeks will help with those issues.  This is one of the few areas where I disagree with the push of agent group. My advice to my clients is ALWAYS get the money as early as possible. I would much rather have the money in my hands than in the hands of another party.  Good planning and financial management can help alleviate the other issues for the players.

STRIKE PREPARATION— Everyone in the football world is anticipating a strike when the current Collective Bargaining Agreement expires in 2020.  It is hard to imagine how any extension will be reached in advance of that time.  So what this means, is that the players may face a lockout and may need to be prepared for a work stoppage.  The agents are recommending that the players start putting away 10% of the money from each game check, 20% of the playoff money and 50% of performance bonuses so that they have the funds to endure a lockout.  Negotiating from a position of strength is always preferable and by making sure the players are not desperate to take any deal, it will be give the Union some backing in the negotiations.

AGENT ASSOCIATION—A long overdue initiative, an agent association will ultimately help the players as well.  This association will give the agents some leverage with the NFLPA and possibly even with the NFL.  There are a multitude of issues that the agents face regularly that are dismissed completely by the NFLPA as either unimportant at all or not relevant for the power agents that the NFLPA has long catered to.  The room was surprisingly unified in the desire to create an agents association and many agents expressed their willingness to pay a fee that would be required.  One important note in this area was raised by longtime agent Jack Bechta, as he strongly cautioned the agents against litigating with the NFLPA.  Bechta’s fear was that it would ultimately cost their own client’s money and that given the expense it would be unlikely to produce any meaningful changes.

NEW LEAGUES—The event was Co-Sponsored by the XFL, and former Buffalo Bills GM Doug Whaley spoke to the agent group. It was interesting to hear some of the input the XFL has taken from the agents, most notably, that the XFL will have the agents paid directly by the league.  This is a significant change since one continual battle for many agents is to have their players pay their fees and expenses.  The NFLPA’s refusal to allow this payment structure is the cause of many fee disputes, because it is easier for the player to just not pay” without any good reason. 

It was refreshing to see so many agents addressing the issues that have plagued the agent community since I was first in the business in 2000.  Sadly, the issues really have not changed and the agents have never pulled themselves together.  Prior attempts to create an association have failed, frequently because the individual leading the charge did not have enough respect in the agent community.

Schaffer seems to have that respect and seems to be marshalling the resources that are needed to make an agent association a reality.  It will be interesting to see how the NFLPA reacts at Friday’s meeting and over the next several months.

The one noticeable absence at this meeting was the large agencies.  There did not seem to be any representation from CAA, Athletes First, or Rosenhaus Sports, three of the biggest agencies.

An agents association would ultimately serve the players better as well, a fact which seems to escape the notice of the NFLPA.